Friday, March 30, 2012

Facing Facts

Since my diagnosis of SHM in January 2012 I have been looking for the switch to flip to reverse things. Which button do I push, which food do I cut out, which activity do I resign from to make this stop? Growing up I had bouts of migraines that would last for a month or so and then stay away for several months or even a couple of years. This is how I perceive my migraines-an irritation that will eventually go away and leave me in peace until the next time. So obviously even though these are different and scary and intrusive and all-around sucky, they must be on the brink of leaving.

I just this minute realized that this is not going to happen. From January 2010-January 2012 I had 4-9 migraines a month, and since then I count myself lucky to have only 3 attacks per week. At what point do I have to sit myself down and face the reality that this has been my life for two years already, and it seems to be only getting worse?

I need to make a commitment to myself and my family and my mental well-being and say, "this is my life now". Instead of focusing all of my energy on where I wish I was and how things used to be, I need to start focusing on how to make Right Now better, and how things can be in the future. As much as I hate this disease and other people's preconceived notions about it, it's a part of who I am now and the sooner I start planning for it and taking it in to consideration with the rest of my life the happier I will be.


pwells said...

You're right. It's the only way.

Erin said...

What a frustration but you are right. I came to a similar conclusion about Rob's illness and my kids. I decided I needed to make our homelife as happy as I could despite it being less than ideal. Hopefully I can show them that life is good and happy even when it's hard.